My conversation with God

Follow us:WhatsappFacebookTwitterTelegram.cls-1{fill:#4d4d4d;}.cls-2{fill:#fff;}Google News(G: GOD himself and M: myself)

God has a mobile phone up there....and he has stored my number.

M: Hello...

G: Now, what happened?

M: I am very angry with you... Why do have to make things that I don't like? Or why don't you use your magical powers of making me invisible when Sapta is looking for a bakra to get 'vox-pops'.

G: What is this 'vox-pops'?

M: arre...you don't know?? The term vox-pop comes from Latin phrase vox populi, meaning 'voice of the people'.

G: My dear, the way you hated Math in school, I hated Latin. The way you don't know what is eight times seven today, I don't know what is vox-pop.... But so what about it?

M: Well, I feel like a beggar when I have to go asking people on the road for their opinions.. "Ma'am, can I talk to you for a minute?", "Sir, do you have two minutes?" "Actually, we wanted to know what do you have to say about this?"

And you know what the responses are?? "Listen, I have to go to office...I m five minutes late", "I would have loved to talk to you but my girlfriend is waiting", "Can you come to my office at 6 pm in the evening? That time we can have a good chat."

G: hmmm.... But my dear, isnt it part of my job??

M (completely ignoring his question): You know what kind of people I encounter on road?? Try going to some place and begging people to spare some time for you?? I bet even you cant do it.

Everytime I have been asked to get vox-pops, out of 15 people I talk to, 50% don't have an opinion, and the rest give ridiculous answers...

Just today I was asked to get vox-pop on the topic: Should there be greater government scrunity on Ayurvedic goods?

Out of 8 people I spoke to, only three made some sense (and believe me, they too are no good).. one of the guys said (in mumbaiya style): 'haas to... ho ne ko maangta hain... government ko bolo ke ramdev baba ki baja daale...'

Another girl said: 'ofcourse yes. These babas are good for nothing. They only like having sex."

And one gentlemen was speaking at snail's pace: 'you know, ayurveda has existed since ages. Ayurveda has been mentioned in our vedas very often. I have read all the Vedas and believe me, I feel every young person should read them. Nowadays youngsters are only interested in mobile phones and girls. I am thinking of starting a school on teaching Vedas...will you come to cover my story then?".....

G (smirking): yes, I understand... but my dear, I too face the same problem.... I too receive some weird phone calls... but I listen to them patiently... just the other day one of your colleague called...to say that GOD...why cant people leave my newspapers alone? Now tell me, what do I say??

M: But I am not being that demanding, am I?

G: Everyone feels their demands are justified...

M: Sorry to interrupt but I have to leave to meet the Fire Officer...

G: Ok my child...leave and do good. Let me give you a special present though....

M: What?? Are you going to make me invisible everytime Sapta looks around for some bakra...???

G: No...my child...but I am going to give you a sensible vox-pop you have ever had... Hope that makes my child happy...

M: Ok... here's the question. Should there be greater government scrutinity on ayurvedic medicines???

G: Forget everything.... Hi!! I am God... Keep watching CNN-IBN...

(GOD hangs up and I believe me, this is best vox-pop I have ever got)first published:January 06, 2006, 13:49 ISTlast updated:January 06, 2006, 13:49 IST
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